Fighting For It

I’ve done level 3 of the Shred 11 out of the past 14 days. I think that’s pretty darn good. I want to do it every day of the week, but it’s inevitable that at least one day out of the weekend, it just doesn’t happen.

I haven’t lost any weight and my waistline is the same size. But I’m just going to keep at it. Even if I don’t lose any weight, I know how much better I feel if I’m at least trying.

For some reason, when Jillian says “You’ve got to fight for it,” it just makes me laugh. I end up saying that to my boyfriend all the time, whether it is conversationally appropriate or not. You want a ham sandwich for lunch? Well, you’ve got to fight for it. You want to clip your toenails? You’ve got to want it, and you’ve got to fight for it.

My diet has been okay. Nothing too indulgent. My dinner Saturday night with the boyfriend was kind of indulgent, but it was such a perfect meal. Check it:

We went to Coastal Kitchen, which is currently serving New Orleans flavored foods. We ended up splitting their barbecue pork meal. It came with some pulled pork, cheese grits, and rice and beans. This was supposed to be a meal for one and it ended up working out perfect for two. We split a piece of chocolate torte for dessert. And they also happen to have bottles of wine for 1/2 off on Saturday nights – so we split a bottle of wine, too. It was a perfectly halved meal and it was frickin perfect. It felt like an anniversary dinner, but it was really just a regular Saturday night!

Something not related to food and diet whatsoever: a couple of weekends ago, the boyfriend and I split some wine and watched the movie Top Secret. Boy howdy, it was hi-larious. I’ve seen it a million times but it still managed to be even funnier than I remembered!

That’s all that’s going on with me right now. For the remainder of my evening, I plan on working on crafts and maybe reading for a little bit. I’m gonna fight for it, y’all.

Still Shredding. Still Reading?

I wasn’t really planning on using this blog anymore. I’m not sure yet if I really want to keep up an exercise blog… but today, I just felt like talking to the internet.

I just had the best Shred that I’ve had so far. First, let me back up a little though.

My last post was about two weeks ago. After that post, I was only very occasionally working out and only kind of paying attention to my diet. I knew I had one more week left of unemployment and decided to allow myself some gluttony and slovenly behavior during my final days of freedom.

I also gained enough weight to put myself back at where I was before starting the Shred, plus an extra pound. I wasn’t happy about that.

So, last Tuesday, my first day of work, I also started Shredding again. I started out on Level 3 and have worked out every day since, except for yesterday.

I feel really great. First of all, I really like Level 3. The jumping stuff is hard, but I just find it really fun. Well, okay, fun is probably kind of an exaggeration. But, you know, I don’t hate it.

I’m cooling off right now from my most recent Shred and I just feel really good. I didn’t half ass it at all. I busted through it, really. I really want to keep this up.

Since starting work again, I feel like I’ve also gotten more in control of my diet. Having a structured day just allows for a more structured diet. Lately I’ve been into everything Trader Joe’s. Not always necessarily healthy, but better than going out to eat and definitely better for my pocket book.

Another incentive for me to keep my diet and exercise up: In one month, I’m dressing up as Strawberry Shortcake for an 80′s night party. I got my costume in the mail the other day and although it fits, boy howdy is it tight. My boyfriend loves it as-is… but I’d prefer it to be maybe a little bit less snug. Even if I don’t actually lose the weight, I know if I keep up the exercise for the next month, I’ll still feel better about myself in the costume!

And that’s about it.

Done with the Shred, New Inspiration

I officially hit 30 days of the Shred today. I don’t really consider myself as having completed it since I took a number of days off in the process – but whatevs.

I actually did the routine twice today just to get me to 30. I was feeling particularly motivated and just wanted to knock it out.

My diet over the past week has been so-so. Nothing outrageously bad but not too great, either.

I’m not really sure what to do with this blog right now. I only half-assed the 30 Day Shred and I don’t particularly want to start from the beginning again. I do have plans, however, to keep up an exercise and healthy diet routine.

I think the main reason the Shred wasn’t really successful for me was because I got pretty depressed about two weeks into it. I also hurt my ankle. The depression and (minor) injury created an almost complete absence of motivation. Really, I’m proud of myself for having gotten any exercise in during a few of those days when I was really down.

I have big changes coming up which I think will positively affect my physical health. I start working again next Tuesday. Although I won’t have as much time to work out and make healthy meals, I think my morale will be a lot stronger, which always makes working out easier for me. Having a more stable routine (or any routine, really) will also be helpful.

I’m not sure what sort of exercise routine I will have. I actually like doing the Shred, so I’d like to still do it a couple of days out of the week. I’d like to throw in something else on another two days out of the week which is fun and high in cardio. I think I’m going to look for some dancey-workout-sorta thing I can do at home. Nicer weather will also get me out and jogging more.

My main inspiration today was thinking about visiting my friends and family this summer. I live in Seattle and all of my family is in North Carolina. When I go back home (hopefully in July) to visit, I want them to see me in my best shape ever. I don’t want them to see an unhealthy me with a bloated face and beer belly. I want to feel proud of how I look and feel when I visit and show how strong I am. So anyway – I think that inspiration will be enough to guide me through the coming days, weeks, and months.

Still Alive: Days 23, 24, 25

At some point, I just stopped caring as much as I cared at the beginning of the month. I don’t know if there is a way to really motivate myself when I feel so apathetic. I know how good it feels when I work really hard to be healthy; I know how bad it feels when I don’t — so, I’m not sure how else to inspire myself.

Honestly, the moments I feel most inspired is when I can see change happening. Usually that’s when the scale is registering at a lower number. Or if a friend tells me I’m looking really good. Those positive reinforcements make me want to work out more and to maintain a balanced diet. But then I slack off a little and it seems like it doesn’t really matter that much anyway and before I know it, I haven’t exercised in three days and am eating cookies for breakfast.

So, I’m not going to make any promises. I’ll just keep chugging along and I hope I get my ass back in gear.

I did the Shred last Friday when I was feeling particularly motivated (hello, JOB OFFER!)… but then the weekend slipped away from me. And then so did Monday and Tuesday.

I got back into gear yesterday though and then today I had a particularly good feeling Shred. I’m hoping I can carry it through the weekend.

I know that the Shred should be done consecutively and that I’m not going to get good results by taking three and four days off in a row. But I don’t feel like starting all over. So I’ll just keep counting my days and keep chugging along.

So I obviously haven’t kept up with my food diary either since I haven’t been blogging at all. My diet has actually not been that terrible. When I’ve gone out to eat, I’ve stuck to meals with lots of veggies and easy on the grease and sugar. Today I made some spaghetti with some happy chicken sausage and whole grain pasta.

So that’s where I’m at.

Day 22 & Basically, I Suck

Well… Let’s see. I was in this fabulous mood on Wednesday and totally rocked the Shred and felt all “I AM AWESOME” and was totally kick ass. My diet: a’ight. Just alright.

Thursday, however… I ended up missing the Shred AGAIN. I didn’t mean to. I was just busy doing other stuff and it didn’t happen. Also, the diet wasn’t so hot. Not AWFUL but not great either.

I’ve had a friend in from out of town this week which has kind of added a challenge for me. I’m not blaming anyone else for my poor habits, but I’m absolutely no good with peer pressure, so as soon as someone says “Want to go out for lunch?” I’m all “OKAY!” and then I go wherever and may or may not order something healthy.

I’ve had a lot of fun this week though and accomplished other things. My buddy and I have worked on some creative projects together and I’ve also had lots of good talk-time, which I need. It’s good to brainstorm with someone about my career & future & blahblah. So although my diet has been sort of sacrificed this week, I feel like I’ve improved myself in other ways, which is equally important.

The Guilt, the Guilt

I really need some thinspiration right about now. I feel myself fading, but I know I’m going to come back. I just wanted to go ahead and get my confession over with.

I skipped the Shred again yesterday. Mainly because I was busy pretty much all day, but of course I could have sacrificed 20 minutes in there somewhere.

My diet has also been horrible. Here goes:

Monday:

Cheerios for breakfast

Two slices of pizza for lunch: veggie & cheese

For dinner, a grilled veggie sandwich with zucchini, peppers, eggplant, tomatoes, and looots of cheese

Tuesday:

Cheerios for breakfast

For lunch, tried out a new deli before my job interview, where I had a sammich with prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, basil, and balsamic vinegar. My BF and I also split a bottle of coca-cola. Imported from Mexico, so cane sugar, no HFCS.

Snacky-snack: Met a friend at Cupcake Royale where I had a mini cupcake and a tall non-fat mocha. Afterward, we went and got a glass of wine for happy hour.

Dinner (sigh): Two slices of pizza: fresh tomato & basil, and a slice of sausage.

And then a couple more glasses of wine.

Fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I realize I have an addiction to pizza. I normally control this by making pizza at home with healthy ingredients. But I haven’t felt like cooking the past few days AT ALL and my diet has severely suffered because of that. I also need to chill on the wine. I’m going to make next week wine-free (well, alcohol-free) and see how I do.

I need to do better. I’m not trying hard enough. The bad thing is, today I started my period and I reeeeally don’t feel like exercising.

But I will. I will. I’m going to do the Shred and get back on track. I just wanted to go ahead and confess how slack I’ve been. I’m sorry to disappoint. Believe me, I’m my toughest critic. So, I’m going to get myself back on track. No pizza today. Time to get shredded.

Day 21: Change Isn’t Easy

The best news of day is that I was contacted by a potential employer and have a job interview tomorrow afternoon. That bit of news gave me the inspiration to get out of my pajamas and do some stuff around my apartment today.

Despite that highlight of my day, I still turned on and finished the Shred grudgingly today. I just don’t feel as inspired as I did at the beginning of the month. I’ll still finish it but I wish I could get some of that GIRL POWER feeling back that I had when I first started this. Lately I just feel like I’m not getting a lot of results which is probably my fault for not giving it 105%.

But I don’t want to be a Negative Nancy. I’m going to keep trying and keep going and see this through to the end.

I’m trying to think of other ways I may be able to challenge myself that will make me feel better. I just want to feel stronger.

Update:

I spent some time thinking this afternoon/evening and decided I’ll start posting what I ate the day before in an attempt to try and eat healthier. I think it’s kind of boring to read what people eat every day, so I’ll just post it at the end of my entries each day. Between my daily discussions of squats and jumping jacks, followed by a list of rather predictable food items – the excitement here never ends!

This is what I ate yesterday:

For breakfast/brunch: a tall non-fat mocha & a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios

Snack: Brie & crackers before a dinner party

Dinner: Homemade polenta with chicken sausage & a side of collard greens. There was enough butter and cheese between the polenta and collards to probably add two pounds directly to my ass. I’d still rather eat some good homecookin though rather than a bag of fast food. Oh, I also probably had about three glasses of red wine at the dinner party gathering. Not the healthiest start to the week, but that’s the dirty caloric truth.

Three Week Reflection, Day 19&20

I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for three weeks.

How do I feel today?

Honestly: disappointed, for a number of reasons.

I’m basically half a pound lighter than I was a week ago. I know this is about more than losing weight, and there are muscles being built up, and so on and so forth: but c’mon, everyone wants to see the scale drop a little bit. Yesterday morning, I weighed in at five pounds less than when I started this, but not this morning.

I’m a little disappointed in myself. Yesterday I took a break from all things healthy. I woke up craving a milkshake and a cheeseburger, so that’s what I had for brunch. I didn’t do the Shred at all. I had chicken masala for dinner, which probably had about half a pound of butter in it. Yes, it was just one day off from everything, but I’m feeling The Guilt.

I’m disappointed that my foot is hurting. After I did the Shred today, I wasn’t happy enough with the scale so I tried to go for a jog, but I only made it about a quarter of a mile before my foot was hurting too much. I don’t want to cause any serious injuries, so I limped home, feeling defeated.

So I’m not as happy at the end of three weeks as I’d like to be. I also don’t feel capable enough to move on to Level 3 yet. I’m going to stick with Level 2 for now.

Despite my disappointment, I’m going to continue on. I don’t expect for my body to be exactly the shape I want it to be by the end of the next 10 days. I need to continue to work at it and I can also try harder. Tomorrow, I’ll be right back at it, giving it my all. For now, I’m going to rest.

Poo

My foot is hurt. It’s gotten worse. This sucks. The pain that started in the toe now goes all the way through the ankle and my ankle is actually swollen this morning.

Jogging isn’t gonna happen this weekend, which really bums me out. I wonder if an ankle brace would help the foot.

I don’t know how the Shred will go today. I’m most likely not going to be able to do the cardio, but I’ll do whatever I can.

Also: I weigh a lot less in the morning. I know that’s normal and all – but is it allowed to consider that my true weight? Or do I have to go by when I weigh the most, right before bed?

Day 18: Half-Assery

This week has been hard. I’m not sure what else to say about it but that it’s been hard.

I was actually pretty revved to do the Shred today. I felt good, the day is beautiful, and I have a big long weekend ahead of me.

Unfortunately, I made it to the last circuit of strength and turned it off. I’m not sure why, but I started getting really lightheaded. I could almost feel black starting to creep in from the sides of my eyes, so I decided I needed to rest instead. WTF? I think it may just be because it’s warm outside and my apartment is pretty hot right now. I’ve been drinking plenty of water, ate well, no alcohol – so I can’t think of any other reason the workout would take so much out of me.

My left foot is also still hurting pretty badly. It’s fine when I’m sitting still, but as soon as I put pressure on it, it’s no good. So I was basically putting all my weight on my right leg during the Shred, which was also tiring me out.

So kind of a rough day! I’m fine though and tomorrow should be better. Gonna hydrate, rest, and then hopefully meet up with some buddies to enjoy this beautiful Seattle evening.